Christmas is coming up, as well as the New Year, and possibly other celebrations, depending on which country you work in. This can be an amazing time as an au pair, since you get to experience some of the best holidays in a completly new place. Be sure to take advantage of this, and enjoy the various holiday offerings in your host country.
If you get the holidays off from your au pair duties, you can especially enjoy them. Days away from your host family (or even with them, if you aren’t working), can be a great time to relax and take it easy. If you’ve been working hard, or longer than usual, take advantage of the down time. If you’ve managed to save some of your au pair money, this might be a great time to splurge on a holiday shopping trip, stocking up on gifts for family and friends back home, or buying something special for yourself! You deserve it after toughing out the au pair job…This might also be a good time to go sightseeing, especially if there are places you haven’t had a chance to visit yet.
If you are going to have to work through the holidays and are not looking forward to it, try to remain in good spirits. You can have a lot of fun with your host family, and if they’ve been including you in their family activities up to now, they’ll also treat you as one of the family over the holidays. Even if you would rather be somewhere else, have a good attitude about working on holidays. And don’t forget, you can always go out and join friends after your babysitting duties, so you shouldn’t be missing out on too much!
As an au pair, some days you will feel more like Cinderella than a world traveler. But luckily you have the benefit of only being allowed to work a certain number of hours, so even on tough days, a day off should be right around the corner. Be sure to use this time, not only to relax, but to get out and discover your new temporary home. Even if you think you’re too tired to explore, especially after rough days, a change of scenery might give you renewed energy. There are a host of things you can do with time off from your au pair duties. Depending on where you live, of course, the activities available will vary. However, most places will have similar events and amenities. Museums are a great place to start, and some countries have amazing museums in every large city, with many in smaller cities as well. If you live in a small town or village, consider taking an entire day to travel, either by train or bus, to the nearest city to see what there is to offer. If you have more than one day off in a row, you can also stay overnight, very affordably, at youth hostels.
In addition to museums, there are art galleries, amazing eateries, and special events, such as festivals, as well. If you are working in Europe, it is likely that there is a festival at least somewhere near you, most times of the year. Area event magazines will clue you in to the local goings-on. Don’t forget to ask your host family for suggestions on places to visit as well. They are sure to have suggestions for you.
Depending on what your host family is involved in and who they know, you might luck up and get to spend days off doing things completely off the beaten track. My host parents in Germany were both very enthusiastic helicopter pilots who loved to take close friends and family on flights with them. I was able to take a tour of the area, via helicopter, soon after my arrival, which was a great welcome to the area. Even if your host family is not involved in such pursuits, chances are they know someone who is involved in something you can take part in (horseback riding, sailing, or other hobbies). And if they haven’t offered to involve you on such activities yet, don’t hesitate to ask!
Of course, if you’ve exhausted other avenues of fun, or just don’t feel like organizing activities on your day off, shopping is always a possibility, and a great way to destress!
Depending on where you are working, the fall and winter can be brutal, especially if you hail from a warm weather climate. Coming from Georgia, the cooler German climate was a welcome change to me while I worked as an au pair. However, days do tend to drag during cold months, and keeping children occupied indoors on the extra yucky days can be challenging. You have to get creative, but there are things to do.
For starters, check out places you can take the children that are indoors. Is there an aquarium or other kid-friendly place, such as a children’s museum, near you? If so, you might be able to get an entire day’s worth of fun out of such a place. If not, a trip to a mall or shopping center could be fun, and will fill at least an afternoon or morning with some activity outside the house. Keep in mind that children may not be very thrilled to join you on a shopping spree for new clothes, however (and their parents probably wouldn’t be either). But do consider taking them to a special store, such as a pet shop, where they can see and maybe even pet some of the animals. Of course, while you’re there, there’s no reason you can’t make a couple quick stops for you!
You can also see if you can get any of your other “chores” taken care of while you’re in charge of the children. Getting the grocery shopping done while you’re on the clock will give you more free time, and will give you something to do with the kids besides sitting at home. Some stores, such as IKEA, which can be found almost anywhere, are great places to take kids. And as long as your host parents don’t mind, the kids can play in the kiddie area, while you get the shopping done.
When you’re an au pair, the holidays can be bittersweet, but hopefully more sweet than bitter. Celebrating with your new family and friends can be a blast, especially when you’re in a new place that you love. Some countries have amazingly festive celebrations this time of year. Your host family and new friends will no doubt enjoy introducing you to their holiday traditions. You can also have a lot of fun sharing your own traditions from home, particularly with the children you’re taking care of.
With Christmas and other holidays right around the corner, now is a good time to nail down holiday plans with your host family, if that hasn’t been done already. You will more than likely be given time off over the holidays, but don’t make your own plans unless you know this for sure. Some host families prefer that their au pairs spend holidays with them, whether off or on the clock. Others will let you decide if you want to join them or do your own thing. Some families out there will also pay to send their au pairs back home to visit family, which may be a welcome break.
However you decide to spend your holidays, keep in mind that you should be enjoying yourself and using this time to learn more about the culture you are in. Have fun, and don’t feel guilty if you eat one too many sweets – calories can always be burned off chasing children after Christmas! If homesickness hits and you are not able to visit home during any of the holiday season, hang in there and try to make the best of where you are, since it is only temporary.
OK, so you may not get very far trick-or-treating overseas with the children you’re taking care of. But – as an au pair – you have the opportunity to introduce ‘your’ kids to holiday traditions and celebrations they aren’t familiar with. The children (and very likely their parents, too!) will enjoy learning about how you and your family celebrate the holidays back home. Feel free to try out favorite family traditions with your new family. Being an au pair is, after all, in part cultural exchange, and there is hardly anything more ‘cultural’ than holidays!
Halloween is a perfect holiday to share with children. Depending on where you are, you may be able to buy a pumpkin and help the children carve a jack-o-lantern. You can also make festive decorations for the fall out of construction paper or other materials that should be readily available. If you want to go the extra mile, you can help the kids come up with their own Halloween costumes and have a mini trick or treat time at home, inviting a few of their friends to take part in the festivities. With a little bit of effort and creativity, you will be introducing your host family to some fun new things.
Taking care of other people’s children can be a lot of fun. Au pairs – especially those who adore little ones – have it made. The bulk of their work is essentially long-term babysitting, which includes feeding, dressing, playing with, and tidying up after children. It’s a fairly stress free job and is ideal for anyone who loves kids but doesn’t have (or want, at least not quite yet) their own.
Don’t get me wrong – being an au pair is work – but as an au pair, you get to enjoy children without much kid stress involved. You are not responsible for them while they are sick (at least not usually – some host parents require their au pair to keep their kids even when they are sick, although many do not). You also don’t have to get up with them in the middle of the night or have to deal with the tantrums reserved for parents.
As the au pair, if you’re any good at it, the children will adore you, seeing you as a constant source of fun and excitement. And unless you are unlucky enough to be in charge of spoiled brats, you’ll have a good time taking care of your host family’s children for a few hours a day.
Almost everyone living far away from their friends and family experiences homesickness at some point. Even the most adventuresome traveler occasionally longs for the familiarity of home. If you find yourself missing the familiar, you are not alone. It is perfectly normal to miss the sights and sounds of the “other world” you have temporarily left behind.
Here are a few suggestions for curing the occasional bout of homesickness:
1. Call a friend or family member from back home – while this may make you feel better, beware that hearing familiar voices might also make matters worse. If hearing news from home makes you happy as heck that you aren’t there, this will work for you. If the sound of your mother’s (or best friend’s, or sister’s, etc,.) makes you weep, then try something else.
2. Talk to other foreign friends – chances are, friends who are also new to the area have experienced homesickness too. This is especially true for those who have been there for some time. They’ll be able to tell you how they dealt with missing home. Of course, simply talking it over with them might also be enough to make you feel better.
3. Go where others of your nationality are – this has always worked for me. No matter how much I missed home, a few minutes of being around other Americans always made me remember why I left the States. Nothing wrong with my fellow citizens, but I didn’t go to Germany to hang out with Americans – especially not the loud, touristy sort.
4. Eat/drink/watch something from home – If you’re American, then you will have no problem finding familiar items – from Coca Cola to Sex and the City dubbed in a foreign language – virtually wherever you are. In today’s “global village,” it’s likely you’ll even be able to find your favorite candy bar. Familiar things like these work wonders, and may have you cured quickly.
5. Take a break – stress frequently triggers homesickness. When things get tough and you get tired, life back at home may seem awfully appealing. Take some time off for yourself to relax and rejuvenate. Spend a weekend away, if you can. If not, take a day trip somewhere interesting. Getting away by yourself may banish the blues and keep you from missing home so strongly.
While having friends who are au pairs is important, it is also important to have social contacts who are not doing the exact same thing you are. There are a few reasons for this. For one, spending time with the same type of people can get old. Would you really only want to hang out with other professional babysitters? While friendships with other au pairs is beneficial, you don’t want to limit yourself. Some au pairs cling to each other for dear life, failing to recognize the benefits of having friends in other places.
Making an effort to find friends, whether locals or other foreigners like yourself, who are not au pairs will add to your experience. Expanding your social circle with people from different walks of life is always good, especially in a foreign country, where your connections are limited to begin with. If you meet and embrace a variety of people, you will learn about other cultures, career paths, and lifestyles. In addition to having an interesting circle of friends, you will also bring your own unique experience to the table.
Early on in my au pair experience, I planned on meeting other au pairs as soon as possible. I was looking forward to meeting similar girls to spend free time with. I assumed that there were at least a few – if not more than a few – other American au pairs in the area where I worked. Well…I very quickly learned that there were not all that many American au pairs in south Germany – at least, not in the Stuttgart area, from what I could tell!
During my first few weeks, I was thrilled to find an Au Pair “club” that met downtown. I went the first night I could, but quickly discovered that the au pair scene in that area was dominated by Russians. Literally. There was nary a native English speaker in the bunch, and those who could speak English did so haltingly. I left the meeting disappointed. I had only met one or two of the guys who were working as au pairs, and not a single girl. Bummer.
I then gave up for a while, and for a while convinced myself that I was too good to need other au pair friends. It was actually months before I made friends with an actual, real life au pair. A friend of mine was visiting from the States, and during a day trip to France, we ran into a girl who was an American au pair working about an hour away from where I lived. She heard us speaking English (real life American English, it all its glory) and the rest was history. I was thrilled to finally have one person who I could call and talk to about the ups and downs of life abroad. As much as I was loving all things German, occasionally I needed a break. Hanging out with an American was very relaxing, in that I didn’t have to think in a foreign language, and I could say and do stupid, careless things without having to defend myself. I could zone out and be a silly American every now and then, and it was OK.
Before the year and a half was over with, I ended up befriending three Hungarian au pairs as well. They were fun and outgoing, and made the last few months in Germany memorable. I became particularly good friends with one of them, who lived in the neighboring town. She and I are still friends, and I will forever be grateful that I met her and was able to have such a wonderful friend during that time.
Although it might be difficult to seek out other au pairs who you can be friends with, keep your eyes open. Some au pairs have already found their way into little clicks that don’t have room for other people. It might sound crazy, but there are au pairs, usually grouped by nationality, who have already established their friend zones and are not interested in expanding them. There are, however, those who are also looking for friends and would love to get to know you – you just have to find them.
For those who think they are too good to need or seek out friends, particularly other au pairs, keep in mind that the old saying is often true – that no man is an island. Neither are au pairs. When living in an entirely new place, experiencing all that life abroad has to offer, having friends who are “in the same boat” will make the good better and the bad more tolerable.
As long as you’ve found a good family to work for, it shouldn’t take too long to get used to your new au pair job. Be sure to keep in mind that some days will be great, and others not so good. You do, however, want to try to keep the ratio in your favor!
Although I felt right “at home” with the family I worked for, it took me a little while longer to adjust daily life in a place that turned out to be more different than I expected. Some places look deceitfully similar on the outside, but are quite different. Germany was one such place. Somehow, the longer I lived there, the more of an outsider I felt. I did manage, though, and you will be able to too.
Once you’ve gotten into a good work rhythm with your host family, it’s time to turn your attention outwards, beyond the four walls of your house. The sooner you get out and make new friends, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your new home. It might take time to establish real friendships, but don’t let the time and effort it can take discourage you from trying. More than likely, where ever you live, you will not be the only person trying to make new friends. It’s more or less a matter of finding places to meet new people.
The best place to start meeting new people will be your host family. Most host families will be happy to introduce you to their friends and family, and this can be an excellent starting point for making new contacts. Even though you may not want to spend every waking moment of free time with your employers, be sure to take them up on offers to spend time with their friends. You never know who you might end up befriending.
Beyond your family, your language class will also be a great place to meet new people. You won’t become any more fluent in your target language this way, but you will meet others who are also new to the country. Some of my best friends (whom I am still in contact with) were friends I made through my language classes. The only possible drawback is that you might find it all too tempting to cut class, hitting the up bars and cafes with your new friends, instead of staying and hashing out grammar…
