Early on in my au pair experience, I planned on meeting other au pairs as soon as possible. I was looking forward to meeting similar girls to spend free time with. I assumed that there were at least a few - if not more than a few - other American au pairs in the area where I worked. Well…I very quickly learned that there were not all that many American au pairs in south Germany - at least, not in the Stuttgart area, from what I could tell!
During my first few weeks, I was thrilled to find an Au Pair “club” that met downtown. I went the first night I could, but quickly discovered that the au pair scene in that area was dominated by Russians. Literally. There was nary a native English speaker in the bunch, and those who could speak English did so haltingly. I left the meeting disappointed. I had only met one or two of the guys who were working as au pairs, and not a single girl. Bummer.
I then gave up for a while, and for a while convinced myself that I was too good to need other au pair friends. It was actually months before I made friends with an actual, real life au pair. A friend of mine was visiting from the States, and during a day trip to France, we ran into a girl who was an American au pair working about an hour away from where I lived. She heard us speaking English (real life American English, it all its glory) and the rest was history. I was thrilled to finally have one person who I could call and talk to about the ups and downs of life abroad. As much as I was loving all things German, occasionally I needed a break. Hanging out with an American was very relaxing, in that I didn’t have to think in a foreign language, and I could say and do stupid, careless things without having to defend myself. I could zone out and be a silly American every now and then, and it was OK.
Before the year and a half was over with, I ended up befriending three Hungarian au pairs as well. They were fun and outgoing, and made the last few months in Germany memorable. I became particularly good friends with one of them, who lived in the neighboring town. She and I are still friends, and I will forever be grateful that I met her and was able to have such a wonderful friend during that time.
Although it might be difficult to seek out other au pairs who you can be friends with, keep your eyes open. Some au pairs have already found their way into little clicks that don’t have room for other people. It might sound crazy, but there are au pairs, usually grouped by nationality, who have already established their friend zones and are not interested in expanding them. There are, however, those who are also looking for friends and would love to get to know you - you just have to find them.
For those who think they are too good to need or seek out friends, particularly other au pairs, keep in mind that the old saying is often true - that no man is an island. Neither are au pairs. When living in an entirely new place, experiencing all that life abroad has to offer, having friends who are “in the same boat” will make the good better and the bad more tolerable.
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