If you are serious about getting a job as an au pair, I would definitely consider a bonafide agency (such as those listed at the IAPA). I’m not quite sure how it would work out since you and your fiance are both looking for work, since au pairs are usually hired and given work permits for themselves. Your best bet is talking with an actual au pair agency.

As a host mom, I appreciate your suggestion that au pairs should hold off or hold back on anything negative, especially so the host kids can’t see.

For me as a host parent, one of the things about having an au pair is not so much the lack of privacy but the fear that someone might be judging me as a parent or as a person. So, even though anyone would have an opinion about what goes on in my home, I’d want her to either talk to me privately or deal with any concerns in a way that protected my reputation. In turn, I go out of my way to avoid talking about my au pair’s personal life (even when it’s really interesting!), so that she can have the same privacy among our family and friends.