when troubles with the host family arise…

For au pairs who are fortunate enough to have an amazing host family that they get along with, the possibility of problems surfacing during their au pair year is likely the furthest thing from their minds. But reality dictates that even the best of relationships experience turbulence at one time or another. When issues occur, it is important to know how to take care of things, before minor issues escalate into real problems. For those who have landed in a less-than-ideal host family situation, it is even more important to know how to deal with any issues that come up.

For starters, be aware of what is going on around you. When living cross-culturally, at times there may be trouble that you are unaware of. It can be easy to offend or break an unknown rule, since host families and au pairs are likely following a different set of cultural standards. If you aren’t careful, the differences may be small enough to miss, but easy enough to turn into something bigger, if ignored. (Now this does NOT mean that you should walk on egg shells, constantly fearing a problem with your host family. However, it does mean that you should be sensitive enough to know what is going on around you. If you start picking up vibes that something is wrong, then be proactive and do something about it).

When it becomes clear that something is wrong, address the issue, don’t ignore it. Two things will keep the relationship from trouble: honesty and responsibility. To keep life running smoothly for you, the au pair, and your host family, it is very important to be honest about problems that occur. This is true not only when you are the guilty party, but when your host family is as well. If something happens that really bothers you (and no, having to work an extra hour or two one day in a hundred does not count!), talk with your host parents about it. This will work out much better than simply ignoring problems, hoping that they’ll go away.

Responsibility is also critical. If your host family has a legitimate problem with something you have done, then accept responsibility so that the problem can be taken care of and you can all move on. Admitting fault is something nobody likes to do, but it will keep your relationship from souring. As long as you learn from your mistake and keep from repeating it, you will ultimately benefit and grow from it.