Best AuPair Guide

Once all of your travel plans have been made and you are ready to go, the fun is about to start - but first, you have to make it to your destination. In today’s world of constant heightened security, airport travel is not as simple as it used to be. In most places, it’s more of a hassle than it ever was, and some airports are simply painful. However, with proper planning, you will survive the journey and show up intact to meet your new family.

To make the trip as smooth as possible, be sure to be up to date with any travel advisories and with the most recent rules concerning what you can and can’t take on board. The days of taking anything but the most obvious weapons on board with you are over. There are now rules concerning items such as bottled water, shampoo, and many other necessities, so be sure to check the following before you pack. Believe me, having to leave items (even inexpensive ones), are not a good way to start a trip. Be as prepared as possible.

You can find any travel warnings and other tips for international travel at the U.S. State Department’s travel website:

http://travel.state.gov/

The FAA website lists all that you can and can’t take with you on a plane, as well as anything else you need to know regarding travel to and from the US:

http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm

Beyond what you can and can’t bring, it is important to dress comfortably for the flight and for easy passage through security. I recommend you wear sandals (weather permitting) or slip-on shoes during the journey, as you will have to take off your shoes to get through security. You will likely feel rushed through a packed security line by less-than-friendly agents, and wearing low-maintenance clothing and shoes will make the experience much less painful. Comfy, simple shoes will also make life on the plane easier, as will layered clothing.

If you’ve done your research (and yes, flying nowadays does require actual research), you will have done all you can to have a hassle-free trip. Bon voyage!

Trying to figure out what to take with you for a journey that will last around a year can be daunting. A traveler’s constant challenge is to take enough, but not more than necessary. Before you start packing, keep in mind that most of what you need is probably available at your destination. There is no need to feel pressured to take everything you own with you.

For starters, make sure you know what the climate is in the country you are moving to, and pack the basics to cover four seasons of life there. Consider bringing only the minimal amount of items you think you will need. Part of the excitement of living somewhere new is the shopping, and there will likely be many new things you discover you have to have. By only bringing what you absolutely can’t live a year without, you will give yourself the freedom to shop during your year abroad without the hassle of having to ship half your gear back home (this will also save you a bundle of money).

Beyond clothing and the necessary items such as eye glasses and prescription meds, keep other items to a minimum. Any toiletries you use will probably be available in your new home (unless you happen to be venturing out into the jungle somewhere, which as an au pair is unlikely). Do bring a few items that will remind you of home - a journal, a couple favorite books, maybe even a pillow or blanket. Having a few treasured things from home will help keep you sane on the tough days, and will be a comfort if homesickness sets in.

If you have any questions as to what you might need to bring (or not bring), don’t hesitate to ask your host family or au pair agency representative. They will gladly help you, and your host family will know what is and isn’t available, so that you can be sure you have all that you need. If possible, talk with other seasoned travelers, especially those who have lived where you are going. They will also be a tremendous source of help - not only for packing, but for any other travel questions as well.

While the one of the most important (if not the most important) ways to prepare is by learning some of the language, there are a few other things to consider as you get ready to leave for your destination. If you don’t know much about the place you’re going, you’ll want to read up on your host country before leaving. Knowing as much as possible about where you are going will help ease the impact of culture shock upon arrival. Being familiar with at least some of the ways of the new country will help you feel more at home and keep you from feeling like a complete outsider.

It’s also critical that you have your finances in order. Take care of any outstanding bills before you leave, so there are no surprises or things left undone. If you have student loans, car payments, or any other similar regular bills to pay, find out about paying ahead or drafting payments from your account. You won’t want to fool with such details while overseas. Also be sure to put somebody - a trusted friend or family member - in charge of your mail and paperwork while you are gone, so you won’t miss anything important during  your time abroad.

Be sure to consider any health issues before leaving. Getting a physical before you go is a good idea, to make sure that you are in good health before jetting around the world. Make sure that you also bring plenty of prescription medicine and other necessary items, such as contact lenses and glasses (an extra pair would be a great idea). Keep copies of any regular prescriptions on hand, just in case you run out and need refills. You may not be able to find exactly what you need where you will be going, but having the information on hand will help make things easier, especially if it’s something that you will definitely need.

If you’ve already found a family and made your travel arrangements, its time to get serious about making the move overseas. If you’re an experienced traveler, you’ll know what to prepare for and what to expect. Traveling isn’t exactly rocket science. But - if you’re new to the country hopping scene, there are a few ways you can prepare.

The most important part of getting ready to leave is make sure you have at least a basic working knowledge of your target country’s language. Even if you only know the basic greetings before you go, some is infinitely better than nothing. The more you can learn beforehand, the better off you will be. You will welcomed more openly by the locals, will be able to get around on your own better, and will save yourself the embarrassment of being just another “typical American” who speaks only English.

Of course, you have to be realistic - no matter how you prepare, you will not become fluent in the weeks (or even months) before you leave. The reality is that no matter how much you know, you will feel like a newbie once you reach your country and begin speaking with natives. But don’t worry - if you work hard and are willing to brave mistakes, you will learn a lot by the time your contract is over.

Even if you aren’t a language buff, you’ll find it isn’t only important, but may also be necessary, to get a good handle of the basics down. If you’re new to the language, start by finding a basic CD language course your comfortable with. There are many on the market that will help you learn the fundamentals of almost any language you would want to learn. Try to learn as much as possible before you leave. The preparation may or may not seem worth it, but anything you learn ahead of time will help you manage better once you reach your destination. Reaching a country with even a minimal amount of language knowledge will help you feel less awkward, and may even help ward off homesickness and culture shock.

Once you’ve found a family to work for, a large part of your work is done. If you’ve had a fair amount of communication with them, know each other’s expectations, and have ironed out the details of your stay, it’s time to sign on the dotted contract line. More than likely, either the agency or your host family will arrange for a contract to be sent to you. As long as everything is clearly spelled out, and you’ve had someone (preferably an attorney) check over it, you can be confident in closing the deal.

The next most important step is to get a valid passport, if you don’t have one already. This is a must and will take roughly four weeks to get, costing a hefty $100.00. You can have it expedited, but this is more expensive, so you may as well plan ahead to spend the smallest amount possible. Everything you need to know concerning passports and other travel related questions can be found at the international travel section of the US State Department’s website: http://travel.state.gov/travel/travel_1744.html

If you have your contract and passport in hand (be sure to make copies of both, by the way - one set to leave with your parents or other responsible party, the other set to keep on hand ‘just in case’), you are much closer to making your way abroad and are ready to make your travel arrangements.

If you’ve found a generous (or desperate) host family, you may have part or all of your airfare cost covered, which is very nice. I highly recommend at least asking if the family can help you with your flight. Asking never hurts and your family’s willingness to help might surprise you. Keep in mind, however, that if they don’t pay for your flight, it shouldn’t be held against them. Not all host families are loaded, and the expenses of an au pair can add up quickly. But again, don’t be afraid to request help if you need it.

5. You don’t like hard work.

4. The thought of living in another country does nothing for you.

3. An entirely new place - country, people, culture, way of life - scares you senseless.

2. Living with in close quarters with another family would make you crazy.

1. You can’t tolerate children.

10. You’re ready to establish close - very close, probably - ties with another family.

9. It’s time for a change of pace - and place.

8. You need a good reason to take a break from college, or something productive to do before or during a career change.

7. You’re bored with life in your home country.

6. You need to get as far away from your family as possible (ok, this was one of my reasons - it may or may not apply to most!)

5. You love foreign accents - and food, and culture….

4. You need a challenge.

3. You’re ready to experience ‘real’ life abroad, without fanny packs and tour guides.

2. You want to actually learn a foreign language - not just your high school teacher’s version of it.

1. It’s time to put that passport to good use.

It would be easy to fill pages and pages about life abroad. Of course, some places are easier to live in as a foreigner than others. Some things will seem “just like home,” while others will be as foreign as aliens from outer space. Today we’ll look at two examples of similarities and differences - Burger King and grocery shopping.

What do BK and supermarkets have to do with au pair work? Well, everything, really. In today’s world it’s easy to feel closer to your native land through simple things like fast food. It’s also easy to feel even more foreign when dealing with things that aren’t quite so much like at home.

Burger King was my refuge whenever homesickness would strike. All it took was one Whopper value meal, and I was happy to be in Europe again, despite whatever else was happening. For the most part, a meal at BK was just like that at home. For a set price (albeit a higher one), you get a drink, fries, and burger, and it tastes pretty close to the ‘real’ thing.  You can ‘have it your way’ with onion rings, but you’d only get five tiny, cold ones to an order. Drinks are also smaller and come with little (as in two or three cubes) or no ice, so if you’re from the South you might have trouble. The only other differences are that the employees, for the most part, tend to be more with it than those at home, and the place is usually cleaner. There is also a lack of free items we expect in the US - refills and condiments. That’s right - you pay per ketchup or mayo packet and only get one fill of your chosen beverage. Which isn’t so horrible - how much Coke do you really need with a meal? And ketchup - at least the packets are bigger than in the States.

While meals at certain chain restaurants are only slightly different from those at home, grocery shopping, as an example, is foreign enough to make you feel like you just landed on Mars. In Germany, shopping for food is not the quick and easy process it is in the States where most of the work is done for you. For starters, you have to park. Either you park on the street (difficult) or you maneuver your vehicle in the cramped parking garages, trying desperately not to hit another car (even more difficult), then search for the elevator that takes you to the store. You have then play the guessing game as to which floor gets you where you need to be.

The adventure continues when you try to get a shopping cart - these require coins that you get back once you dutifully replace the cart (Germans are all about duty). The carts tend to be a bit small and wobbly, which makes it difficult to move them around the store, although everyone but the au pairs seem to be used to them.

By the time you’ve managed to get everything you need, you face the checkout line, which can be especially painful. Waiting in line is bad enough, because personal space is a different concept in Europe than in the US, and you almost always will have someone breathing - quite literally - down your neck. Then you bag your own groceries while the checkout girl sits and stares at you. If you aren’t quick enough, you’ll pick up plenty of ugly looks from those in line behind you, and there is no waiting for you to finish and collect your goods. The next person in line will be ushered through, their items mixing with yours, until you’re on the brink of a panic attack. Then it’s back to the car with all your stuff, back to the cart line with the unruly cart, and home sweet home, if you don’t back into anyone leaving the parking deck. Wow - by that time you just about need a drink!

So yeah, while some things overseas can be relatively familiar and simple, others take a little more adapting. It took me the better part of the year to manage in the supermarkets, especially the shopping trips with a toddler and baby in tow - which is an entirely otherworldly experience altogether.

While the drawbacks might scare you away from au pair work, keep in mind that for every disadvantage are advantages. The greatest benefit to working as an au pair is that you really do get to experience a new country and culture in a way ordinary tourists can not. You see the ins and outs, the good and the bad, and all the nuances of another place and people. You’ll gain a hands-on education in dealing with other cultures and people, something you can’t learn any other way than living life emerged in an entirely new place.

In addition to these implied benefits, there are also concrete perks that come with the job. You are likely to end up meeting interesting people, seeing and doing things you wouldn’t otherwise have experienced. For example, my host family were helicopter enthusiasts - and pilots, both of them, which means we took more than one “heli” ride during my stay. While this became old news to me, a few years later on a visit, my husband was thrilled to get a tour of the Stuttgart region via helicopter, with is own personal pilot, my former employer.

My host family also loved to eat out and often dined in pricey places, and I was almost always invited to join them. Granted, usually that meant helping with children some, but getting to eat food that was no where near my price range was a pretty nice treat, and they enjoyed introducing me to their favorite places and foods. We also traveled frequently, and while we went to good places, I know au pairs who were able to spend weeks at a time in Italy or on the coast of France. Come on - even if you’re on the clock, how bad can it be when soaking up the Mediterranean sun?

So despite the hard work involved (if there is any hard work - some jobs are more like part-time babysitting), there are countless perks. If you find a family who treats you like one of their own, you will probably end up having a great time, seeing and doing things you wouldn’t otherwise get to.

Before you sign a contract to work for a family, there are a few things you need to think about. Depending on the family you find, you’ll be working for at least a number of weeks, probably closer to a year. Since this sort of work is different than most, due to living (in most cases) with the family, you need to think through your expectations, your level of stress tolerance, and flexiblity.

Living with your employer has its ups and downs. Some of the benefits are being able to get dressed and ready for work in all of five minutes if it suits you (showering is usually optional - do kids really care if you’re in tip-top condition?). You’ll also benefit from being with a family, avoiding some of the angst and loneliness you might otherwise experience. There will also be no need to worry about paying rent or other bills, since you’re living costs are covered by the host family.

There are drawbacks, however. Living where you work can get old. If your work schedule and duties are not clearly ironed out, you run the risk of feeling like you are constantly on the clock. And unless you’re deathly ill you also might feel obligated to keep working even when you’re sick (although decent families should give you time off). Another double-edged sword is the children’s attachment to you. Of course you want them to like you, but the more they like you the more they will want to be around you - and they don’t understand that you’re paid for a certain amount of time. Their attachment to you might not be so cute on a Saturday morning when you want to sleep in but hear tiny knocks on your door.

Basically, the drawbacks are all about boundaries and balance. If you have a tough time establishing boundaries with people, you will easily work too much and wear yourself out. But if you are able to create a reasonable routine, balancing work and play and time with your family, your chances of having a successful experience will be good.